3/25/10: Great Moments in "The Office"

I thought I posted this two weeks ago, but when I checked my list today, I saw that it was still in "draft" status. Oops! Sorry for the delay.

I thought Stanley was going to have another heart attack, and that would be the end of him. But I don't blame him for risking death to go home early! Other than that, I found nearly every line of this episode to be hilarious. Easily the funniest episode in a long while. It wasn't easy to whittle the list down.

Michael: It's not exactly fair. He's got all of his weight that's helping him go down.

Oscar: We talked this morning, and we talked at Christmas. So, a little momentum there.

Darryl: Look, just be straight with me, man. You can be gay with Matt; just be straight with me.

Phyllis: I love going to bars with Bob. I tend to wear something low-cut, get men to flirt with me, and Bob beats them up.

Jim: This baby is amazing. She gets me out of everything. And I love her. I also love her very much.

Erin: Talk to me that way again and I'll cut your face off.

Kevin: Waaaah! Waaah! When a new mom hears a baby cry, her you-know-whats fill up with you-know-what and then her shirt gets, you know [giggle] That would be funny.

Michael: Hi, I'm Date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?

I can't tell whether he's doing all this to impress Julie, or if he's deliberately trying to turn her off. Knowing Michael, either is possible. Thoughts?

Michael: I absorb information from the strategies of the winners. And the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.

Dwight: I want a big family. Tall, thick, big. Physically big family.

Michael: You embarrassed my friends in front of me, and I'm going to need you to go back over to the table and apologize.

Michael: Read it? I own it. But no, I have not read it.

Hide: My big secret: I kill Yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!