Meredith: Stop fighting! Just on St. Patrick's day, okay? Just one perfect day a year. No hassles, no problems, no kids.
Michael: It is St. Patrick's day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.
Dwight: Getting hooked on mega-desk was my own damn fault.
Michael: Good morning, honey pile.
Erin: Nice kilt.
Andy: Thanks. It's actually my sister's old field hockey skirt.
Jo: How many knocks does it take to get you to do some work?
Michael: Does her family owe your family something, in terms of a past injustice?
Darryl: Now Mike, I have to ask you to leave so that I can learn about this tiny television.
Packer: Hike up your skirt and pull out your tampon, borrow some balls and come meet me!
Angela: Yes, I am anxious to get out of work, but let me be clear: It's not to celebrate St. Patrick's day. It's so I can protest St. Patrick's day.
Michael: Do I really want to turn out like Gabe? 26, single, tied to my desk, no life, no family? I'd want to have been married by the time I would've turned 30. That's just depressing.
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