Michael: We're like "Friends." I am Chandler and Joey, and Pam is Rachel, and Dwight is Kramer.
Michael: One time we were out and we met this set of twins and Packer told them that we were brothers. And so you know one thing led to another, And we brought 'em back to the motel, and then Packer did both of them. It was awesome.
Jim: Hey, what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!
Toby: Basic rule of thumb - let's just act every day like Pam's mom is coming in.
Jim: Oh my God, put on a shirt. I told you that you'd be on camera. I'm sorry, she's European.
Michael: You are never going to believe this. The girl in the video we're watching that Corporate gave us, Darryl banged her... and he's about 90% sure.
Michael: I don't come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn't arrest a guy who's just delivering drugs from one guy to another.
Jim: Does that include "that's what she said"? Wow, that is really hard. Do you really think you can go all day long? Well, you always left me satisfied and smiling, so...
Pam's mom: So, which one is Jim?
Michael: I love Phyllis. You know what else? I think she is gorgeous. I think she is an incredibly, incredibly attractive person. Come here. Give me a kiss. I'm not worried. You know what? The only thing I am worried about is getting a boner.
Michael: At some point the daddy can't take a bath with the kids any more. I am upper management, and it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam, as much as I might want to.
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