Michael: It was a crime of passion, Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.
Jim: Roy was lucky that Dwight only used pepper spray, and not the nunchucks or throwing stars.
Dwight: The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs and get a distress call from the Commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime - those are the real heroes.
Michael: Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.
Toby: I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But if he did intend that, wow. Genius.
Darryl: Are you wearing lady clothes?
Michael: I do not buy women's clothes. Would not make that mistake again.... I wear men's suits. I got this out of a bin.
Michael: Every year, I get a $100 gas card. You can't put a price tag on that.
Toby: This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.
Michael: I accidentally cross-dressed.
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