2/11/10: Great Moments in "The Office"

Michael: She bought us sight unseen, like a mail-order bride.

Dwight: I am treating you the same as a man, for whom I would also not stand, unless it was the President or Judge Judy.

Michael: I don't know how things work in FL, which from your description sounds like a colorful, lawless swamp, but here it takes two men to do one job, where in Florida it might take one very strong woman to do such a job.

Michael: Where I'm from, there are two types of folk: those who ain't, and those who are knee-high to a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't?

Michael: I can't even go near a cigarette now without thinking of a penis. And vice-versa.

Michael: You can take the man out of the salesman, but you can't take the sales out of "salesman."

Dwight: I wish I had a lair.

Erin: I'm worried that not all of your toys are going to fit on your new desk.

Michael: The gentlemen's club in Carbondale. It's called Curves... saw some of the women walking in. Not really my cup of tea. Actually, Kevin, you might like it.

Erin: I can't compete with her. That girl can sing and dance, and gets all of her clothes at the mall.

Andy: It's not because of the smell. I'm expecting a nosebleed.

Michael: There is no grass out there. It's just a farty dirtpatch.

Jim: What was that movie where their boss was within earshot, and they could have just gone and talked to her?

Jo: Finish walking my dogs for me. And don't ride 'em. A lot of people try to ride 'em.

Kelly: Why did I just receive a mass email from you that said that you don't like me? Do you realize how hard that makes me like you, Andy?

Ryan: I'm not interested in anything I have to make myself.