Pam: I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone... (sigh) vending machine.
Michael: That was funny! let's go do it to someone else.
Michael: These people need to be protected from having love shoved in their faces.
Dwight: It's so sexy it becomes hostile.
Dwight: I've trained my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself.
Michael: I feel like a human juice box. Hawaiian Blood Punch. Type O-cean Spray.
Jim: I have a lot of work to do this afternoon. Those mines aren't going to sweep themselves.
Meredith (tearing wings off paper Cupid decoration): Now it's just a stupid baby.
Angela: What did you do? Not that I approve of any of it.
Michael: There has to be a way to get all these lonely people together.
Dwight: A net. A giant net.
Dwight: Lonely people mixing with one another? Breeding? Creating an even lonelier generation?
Michael: They're going to say, "I'm in love! I was hit by Cupid's sparrow!" Funny little bird, but he gets the job done.
Michael: Eric, you mentioned before that you are in tool and die repair. Meredith recently had a total hysterectomy, so that's sort of a repair.
Michael: We were lying there next to each other. I think our blood bags touched.
Kelly: Aww!
Michael: Sometimes it's not whether Cinderella gets her slipper back, but it's about the fact that the prince even picked up the slipper at all.
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