Dwight: Mr. Peanut is not classy. He is a regular peanut. He just happens to have a cane, a monocle, and a top hat.
Michael: Surprise! As you can see, I turned the bagels from O's into C's for Charles.
Michael: We have now arrived at Kevin, and he has no sexual history.
Michael: I thrive under a lack of accountability.
Pam: It's cupcakes and strippers, all the way down.
Charles: What is a two-way petting zoo?
Michael: If you put paper into a furnace, you know what would happen? You'd ruin it.
Jim: At first it was a made-up position for Dwight, just to make him feel better. Assistant to the Regional Manager. But then he lost that, and Michael gave it to me.
Michael: He said, "No figs." I've already bought them. And I don't have a place to store them.
Michael: I quit. You have no idea how high I can fly.
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