03/24/05: Great Moments in "The Office" - first episode

Michael: Thank you very much, sir. You are a gentleman and a scholar. ...oh, I'm sorry. My mistake.

Michael: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago.

Michael: That was a joke that, uh, was actually my brother's.

Pam: Are you going to Angela's cat party on Sunday?

Michael: As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.

Michael: Right here. Three Stooges. High five. Oh, Pam. It's a guy thing.

Dwight: I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview.

Michael: I think I'm a role model here.

Dwight: He put my stuff in Jell-O again!

Jim: Dwight, I'm sorry. Because I have always been your biggest flan.

Ryan: You should have put him in custardy.

Michael: I'm a friend first, a boss second, probably an entertainer third.

Michael: You have made my life so much easier in that I am going to have to let you go first.

01/26/06: Great Moments in "The Office"

This one aired before I started doing "Great Moments," but I recently caught the rerun and just happened to have a pen handy. It's the one where someone leaves a big stinky fudge dragon in Michael's office.

Ryan: Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me.

Creed: Hey, guys. Somebody making soup?

Michael: I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming and applaud as I walked away.

Michael: Packer and I once spent a whole day with our pants off.

Michael: Once, as a joke, Packer banged every chick in the office. It was hysterical.

Michael: I am a victim of a hate crime. Stanley knows what I'm talking about.
Stanley: That's not what a hate crime is.
Michael: Well, I hated it. A lot.

Michael: Last week I would have given a kidney to anyone in the office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them.

Kelly: You just asked a girl out on the phone!

Packer: Did you get that package I left for you?

Michael: It was done out of love, just like I thought.

Pam: I moved my computer so I can't see Michael's head. It's working. I think I can have a career as a very specific type of decorator.