Creed: The tall guy got engaged.
Michael: To be married?
Michael: Why are you helping her? You're not even dating her.
Andy: I took "Intro to Philosophy" twice. No big deal.
Dwight: It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male.
Michael: You are a thief of joy.
Meredith: I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for the discount paper. Not a lot of fruit in those looms.
Jim: The story's kind of bland. It's about this guy named Dumbledore Calrissian who needs to return the ring back to Mordor.
Michael: I just don't want my employees thinking that their jobs depend on performance.
Michael: Meredith needs this job. This is her main source of money.
Michael: I saw this thing like a belt with a key... it's more of an undewear garment.
Michael: How do you tell somebody that you care about deeply, "I told you so"?
Stan: It's a quarter to five, and I have started to gather my things.
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