Friday, April 3, 2009

Celebrity Apprentice, 3/29/2009: Unhappy Hour

Task: Get the highest customer service rating managing five rooms of a luxury hotel.
KOTU: Rodman, by popular demand.
Athena: Watkins, by popular demand.
Eyes and Ears: Ivanka Trump and Jon Tisch (chairman/CEO of Loew's Hotels).
Outcome: KOTU gets a score of 86; Athena gets a score of 91. Athena wins.

Fired: Rodman, for being a big disappointment (drinking and taking off). His charity, Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) New Orleans which teaches volunteers to advocate for local foster children, gets nothing from this show that I know of.

Donation: $20,000 to Sickle Cell Foundation of Georgia, which provides education, screening, and counseling to sickle cell patients.


The women wait in the suite, feeling nervous for Melissa. Melissa and Kardashian come back without Jordan. Melissa says it got personal.

Next day, McKnight meets with the people from his charity. They play it cool when they see the big check, but are obviously pleased.

Duke predicts that her team will be "more cohesive" without Jordan.

Trump meets with the team and explains the task: each team is going to manage five suites in a luxury hotel. Whoever gets the highest ratings from the guests will win. CEO Jon Tisch advises the teams that this will be all about good service.

Athena encourages Watkins to be Project Manager; I'm pretty sure that wasn't her idea and I'm not sure why they pick her instead of one of them volunteering, but they all say she's a good contributor. Maybe it's just that people are less eager to be PM when the prize will be "only" $20,000.

Likewise, Black nominates Rodman, and the whole team agrees. Black tells us that it's their way of showing Rodman that he has their support. I'm thinking it's also high time they got rid of him. Duke is thinking similar, and predicts disaster when Rodman interacts with customers.

Athena prepares

The team gets a half-hour crash course in typical hotel duties (employee training there is normally two weeks). They're told that it usually takes about 20 minutes to clean a room. Kardashian isn't there today because of a prior commitment.

The women pay attention as Watkins gives them their assignments. Joan will be the concierge, because she knows New York. There's no arguing or chaos. They all go up to clean the rooms.

Roderick is amused to be wearing a maid's uniform that isn't a "French maid" costume. Melissa tells us it's not fair that she has to clean the dirtiest room. (I'd like to know who she thinks it would be more fair to ask. Boy, did it. That's another reason I'm glad Jordan was fired - it takes a lot to make me feel sorry for Melissa Rivers, but Jordan did it effortlessly.) Duke helps her with the room. Duke says now that she knows what this is like, she'll leave a $100 tip next time she's in a hotel.

There are stains on the carpet that they can't get out. Melissa decides to just leave them. (I wonder if they could have asked the housekeeping manager's advice?)

They decide to provide gift baskets for the guests. Gulbis pumps her sponsors for stuff to make up elaborate gift baskets.

KOTU prepares

Black predicts that Rodman will be a better leader than follower. It starts out promisingly enough. Rodman wants to impress their guests by filling the lobby with drivers and bodyguards. McKnight is thinking more like fruit or cookies.

Rodman assigns roles. McKnight tells us that Rodman isn't giving real instructions, but Rodman tells him to be concierge, which seems like a clear enough assignment to me. Black expresses concern about Rodman's potty mouth, but Rodman assures him that he can deal with customers without the F-bombs.

McKnight becomes annoyingly bossy, but Rodman takes his idea about snack foods and runs with it. He, Black, and McKnight go to a deli together for some special food to put in the guests' rooms. (Why it takes three men to run this simple errand, I do not know.) But first, Rodman gets a drink.

Meanwhile, James and Walker clean the rooms. Remember how Athena was told it should take about 20 minutes per room? It takes a lot longer for beginners... especially when there are two of them and five suites. But I don't hear them complain about unfairness.

On the way back from the deli, Rodman decides they need to get a couple of Ferraris to park in front of the hotel too. This will impress the guests! McKnight disagrees. Rodman says that he's an expert in marketing and advertising, and McKnight doesn't know anything. McKnight points out that this task is about service and not advertising. This just makes Rodman angrier, and he says "let Brian do everything."

Later, McKnight helps Rodman with his tie. He carefully lays out the cookies on plates to bring up to the rooms. (Yes, apparently the entire haul that the three men brought back from the deli was a box of cookies.) When Walker's done, Rodman dumps the all the cookies back into the box and takes them down to the kitchen for the chef to decorate and make up some platters. McKnight is miffed because they're running very late.

Athena: Check-in and evening

The hotel owner checks on Athena during a fairly smooth check-in process. Joan asks the guests what they want to do this evening. Duke feels awkward as she shows the first guests up to their room

Athena has a celebrity guest, Stephen Baldwin. Upon reaching his room, Baldwin calls Joan to complain about the view. There's a silly little grin on his face to let us know that he's putting on an act. Joan is very professional, and tells him that it's a private, quiet room instead instead of one with a view of a noisy street.

Joan loves being concierge. Someone asks about peep shows. She cheerfully calls someone else and finds out where the peep shows are.

Another group of guests start a party in their room right away. Gulbis brings up their room service order, and they immediately ask her for more things. Some silverware and other items fall off of her cart. She leaves them on the floor when she takes the cart away.

It's only 4 or 5 in the afternoon when they start offering turndown service.

The partying guests are constantly ordering small items, one at a time, instead of placing one large order. They decide that they lie Duke better than Gulbis and begin asking specifically for her.

Baldwin comes back from his outing and scolds Joan because she didn't tell him how expensive the cover charge for his entertainment would be. (There's a funny look on his face again; he's over-acting.) Joan blames herself for not telling him and offers to take care of the problem.

KOTU: Check-in and evening

KOTU's first guest arrives, and his room isn't ready yet. Black is worried and starts making excuses. Rodman intervenes and smooths things over, offering the man a drink. He makes small talk about strip joints in the man's hometown.

The guest wants tickets for Billy Elliot. Rodman doesn't know what Billy Elliot is. He thinks it's a musical act. Likewise, the guest doesn't understand Rodman's accent.

Most of the guests want tickets to Broadway shows, or hard-to-get dinner reservations at exclusive restaurants. Someone not only wants tickets to Equus, but wants to sit on the stage.

Vincent Pastore arrives. He doesn't make his requests with a dumb grin, but his list of requirements is so hilariously long that you have to laugh. Unless you're Dennis Rodman. He wonders if he'll be asked to catch Pastore's turds as well,

After waiting for a long while, one of the guests is upset that the chardonnay he ordered still hasn't arrived, and he doesn't have his dinner reservations yet either.

Ivanka checks up on Rodman. She asks him if he's finding it easier to respect his teammates now. He gives an incoherent but cheerful reply. She can tell he's been drinking

The guest is still waiting for his chardonnay. Like Duke earlier, McKnight says he has a newfound respect for hotel workers.

Walker finally gets the wine to the guest, 75 minutes late. Unfortunately, it's champagne. The guest really wants his Acacia chardonnay. Walker goes back downstairs to tell Rodman about the problem. There's a goofy misunderstanding of "Acacia Chardonnay" vs. "a case of chardonnay." Rodman checks another ice bucket, and there's the exact thing the guy ordered. Walker just delivered the wrong bucket.

Rodman takes the chardonnay up personally with apologies, and offers to take a suit down to be pressed. He brings the suit back up and further soothes the guests' frazzled nerves by personally accompanying them to an exclusive restaurant.

It would have been nice if he'd told his teammates about this - but James says he wasn't helping anyway.

By using their celebrity superpowers, KOTU manages to get all of the show tickets the guests requested. All of the restaurant reservations too, except for Pastore's (he's angry, or pretends to be... I bet he could have gotten that reservation on his own). James worries that they'll win, and then Rodman won't be fired.

Rodman finally comes back, drunker than ever. He's rude and vulgar and loud to Black in front of the guests.

McKnight asks Rodman about the cookies, Rodman goes to the kitchen and asks for "a little vodka cranberry out the ass." (He's already forgotten the drink he set down a moment earlier.) He comes back to the lobby with the cookies. "Cookies out the ass!" he announces. Then he takes off down the hallway in a snit, removing his shirt en route.

Morning

Kardashian's back, but she wasn't around for the half-hour of training. How will she hold up?

Athena's keeping busy with breakfast orders for room service. Melissa realizes that offering free breakfast means more work for them. (Well, it might mean more customer satisfaction, too...)

KOTU, meanwhile, is bored. James thinks it's just that their guests are so content. Black and Walker joke about the women's uniforms.

Rodman shows up out of uniform. He's grouchy, but stays out of their way. Black tries to cajole him. James says he's disappointing his fans.

One of the breakfast orders is too early. Kardashian takes it up anyway. She knocks on a door. The guest comes to a different door (in the same suite, I assume) and explains that it's 40 minutes early. Kardashian says sheI'll bring it back later (that's just what the guest wants to hear, that she'll be getting a 40-minute-old breakfast in a little while). Kardashian tells us that doing room service "kind of isn't my thing." She's used to getting it, not giving it.

Well, thanks for sharing that with us. Did last year's celebrity apprentices complain as much as Melissa Rivers and Khloe Kardashian about having to do actual labor? I don't recall that they did, but maybe I'm just forgetting.

Another guest is upset because Rivers didn't warn her that there were extra charges for having manicure services in her room.

The customers fill out their satisfaction surveys. KOTU's guests say they were disorganized; Black and McKnight were polite; Rodman was evil and "funky." The chardonnay guests say the service was "different," and that they got great service at dinner since Rodman was with them.

Athena's guests say that Athena was "too eager" and offered to turn down their beds in the afternoon. The guys who partied and ordered room service all evening say there were stains on the floor and trash in the trash can. Another guest says breakfast arrived too early, and there were unexpected charges.

Duke worries that KOTU's guests were charmed by Rodman.

McKnight hopes KOTU loses, and Rodman is fired.

The postmortem

Athena has a mutual admiration society between Watkins and the group. Melissa takes credit for nominating Watkins as project manager. There are negative customer comments about high charges, and someone else complained about bad service from Gulbis. The whole team agrees that that particular room was difficult.

KOTU's feedback says that the concierge was absolutely fabulous and most of the team was good, but there were delays.

Trump says the celebrity guests didn't fill out guest cards.

Rodman thinks they didn't win. He blames the team. James says the problem was Rodman's drinking. So does McKnight. The women agree - Joan says he was interfering with her work at one point.

Black says Rodman was good at first. Then he took off to party. Rodman claims his team didn't do what he said, and he did all the work. And yes he did disappear, but he did the best job in those four hours when he was there.

James says it was funny at first, but then it turned mean. Rodman went off on Black multiple times and was loud around the guests.

Walker agrees that there's a drinking problem. Rodman defends himself by saying James had a drinking problem too. James says yes he did - nine years ago.

James says, "look at the contrast" between these two athletes, Walker and Rodman. You already know that Walker is great, but then you meet him and he's even better. The opposite is true with Rodman. People expect more, and they are disappointed. Rodman offers to leave right now. He says his teammates don't defend him. James says he'll help him work, but he can only do so much.

Ivanka points out that they've been saying that he did a good job until the drinking interfered. James says he took four drinks away from Rodman. Rodman thinks it was more like 15. I think it's more like Rodman lost track of 15 drinks.

Black says he doesn't want Rodman to leave despite all of the eruptions and disruption. He supported Rodman because he wanted the team to win.

Rodman says he won five championships. Phil Jackson said he was better than Michael Jordan. Walker says, "That's the past." Trump wonders if he should fire Rodman even if the women lose.

The women do not lose. KOTU gets a score of 86. Athena gets a score of 91. Tionne Watkins gets $20,000 for her charity, Sickle Cell Foundation of Georgia, which provides education, screening, and counseling to sickle cell patients.

Rodman is fired. He says it's because people feel threatened by him. Trump disagrees. Rodman says he can kick anyone's ass. James says, "Why doesn't he kick our ass at being a good person?" Blacks says supportive things about Rodman.

Trump says he wanted Rodman to prove something, but he didn't. Both teams sadly say goodbye to Rodman. In the taxi ride home. Rodman says, "Don't count Dennis out."

My MVP

My MVP pick for this episode, not that it matters, :-) is Tionne Watkins. First time this season I've seen a PM truly M the P; I didn't see a hint of chaos, except in the kitchen which was understandable.

Watkins never gets much screen time - maybe she doesn't talk a lot. Evidently, when she finally does talk, it's worth the wait. I admire people who keep their mouths shut until they have something to say (I lack this skill, myself). Such people are in short supply on "reality" shows because they don't "entertain." But on The Apprentice, I want to see people actually do something, not just act bratty for the camera.

We've been on a downhill slide in that respect ever since the very first season of The [non-celebrity] Apprentice, and we've been getting double-helpings this season, thanks to the antics of Clay, Green, Rodman, and Jordan. Now that they're gone, hopefully we'll see a little more talent and a little less mayhem. (I still see plenty of potential for conflict, so we won't be bored.)

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