Task/Sponsor: Produce three 30-second radio ads for Clockwork Home Services. The sponsor will donate an additional $20K to the winning team.
In their meetings with the teams, the Clockwork execs come across as a couple of stiffs. They specifically warn the teams against the use of humor - especially humor at plumbers' expense. However, perhaps we get a clue as to what they really want when one of them says that plumbers are often the "butt" of jokes.
Rocksolid: Maria Kanellis and Sharon Osbourne, led by Bret Michaels who volunteered.
Knowing that one of the ads is for a plumbing service, they immediately envision lots of poop jokes, fart jokes, and female plumbing jokes, but their hopes are soon dashed after meeting with the seemingly humorless execs. With the no-jokes warning still ringing in his ears, Michaels insists on including a "plumber's crack" pun. Kanellis, Osbourne, and even Ivanka express their doubts, but Michaels insists it's the way to go and promises to take the hit if it fails. Another ad uses cheesy 70s-style porn music and a mildly suggestive script.
Not surprisingly, the execs wince when they hear the plumber's crack joke. But one of them comments to the other that he likes Michaels as a salesman.
Tenacity: Cyndi Lauper, Holly Robinson Peete, Curtis Stone, led by Summer Sanders, who volunteers.
Like RockSolid, the team is disappointed when they realize that even their relatively mild jokes are likely to fall flat. (It doesn't help, though, that Peete asks about humor in a negative way rather than a positive way.) Again, there's a clue to the execs' sense of humor when Lauper asks why they named their plumbing service, rather than their electrician service, after Ben Franklin. The execs' answer (that Franklin took his bathtub with him when he moved) is corny, but when Lauper goes on and on about how Franklin liked to take baths with women, it doesn't seem to ruin their day. Sanders and Peete might be mortified by Lauper's comments, but the execs seem charmed. (Really, you could make a LOT of jokes about Ben Franklin's enjoyment of ladies' pipes.)
Sanders and Robinson conspire to keep Lauper "focused." Stone tells us they're a bit bitchy. But the apparent prohibition against jokes seems to imbue all of them with a sense of humor, and they blow off steam for a while, making jokes they know they won't be able to use.
Their ads are very wordy and rushed, but more informative than RockSolid's. Like Lauper, Stone (perhaps still stinging from last week's loss due to lack of originality, and perhaps also remembering that his old team's super-texty LifeLock ad didn't do very well either) feels that they should still try to be just a tiny bit edgy and original. He questions their direction, and Sanders waffles for a moment, but she and Robinson decide to press on with the blandest, most conservative ads they can possible come up with. Lauper gripes, but does as they ask.
Sanders also waffles on whether or not to let Lauper, a Grammy award-winning recording artist, sing in their ad. Peete advises against it because Lauper's voice isn't "mainstream" and urges Sanders and Lauper to let the "professionals" they hired to take care of it. But with reservations, Sanders nervously allows Lauper to sing in just one ad.
Outcome: The execs expected to hear a lot more of Lauper in Tenacity's ads, and felt that their ads were too talky, not particularly original, and sounded like any other ad they'd hear on the radio. They thought Tenacity's ads were okay, but felt that RockSolid's ads were fantastic. They didn't like the line "people crack a lot of jokes about plumbers," but on the other hand, they liked the electrical service ad (the least edgy of the three) enough to put on the air as-is.
Boardroom: When asked his opinion, Michaels suggests firing Sanders because she's the toughest. Osbourne recommends firing Stone because he's smug and Australian. Maria goes so far as to say she'd like to punch him. (Earlier in the show, she swiped a slice of pizza from him to give to Michaels, so who should be wanting to punch whom?) Sanders and/or Peete sayfs that Stone's scripting efforts were "too Australian." (Like a little editing couldn't have fixed that?)
Sanders gets to send one person back to the suite. Naturally, she sends her buddy Peete - the one person who advised making the ads as conservative as possible. But she refrains from criticizing Lauper. In return, Lauper very kindly doesn't tell Trump that Sanders was nervous about her singing and that Peete specifically lobbied against it. She blames her non-singing on laryngitis instead.
Ivanka observes that Stone isn't respected. I would have enjoyed more exploration of this subject, because he's been very good at dodging blame and responsibility, but this conversation doesn't go anywhere. Stone and Sanders blame one another, and Trump sends Lauper back to the suite.
Stone says he wanted them to be more edgy, but Sanders decided against it. However, Eric feels that Stone was too reserved in his objections. Stone makes a minimal effort to keep the blame on Sanders. Minimal effort is all that's required - Sanders just isn't good at boardroom.
Ivanka points out that this is Sanders's first boardroom. Sanders latches onto this, sort of: she asks permission to use it to defend herself. But it is too little, too late.
Fired: Sanders, for not being able to make a case for herself.
Donation: Michaels gets an additional $40,000 for the American Diabetes Association's camps for kids with diabetes, adding to his previous $100,000 winnings from week 1.
Remarks:
- At the end of the episode, there's another wish for a speedy recovery for Bret Michaels.
- Peete and Sanders are annoyed when Lauper warms up her voice in the van after a mild bout of laryngitis. Honestly!
- While Sanders and Peete often do come across as dour and humorless, I'm still laughing at the memory of the Right Guard ad they did with Scottie Pippen putting deodorant on stinky young men. I understand why it didn't win, but it was funny. And that was all Peete's idea.
- When Lauper's been in charge, Peete and Kanellis have both whined that Lauper doesn't give them credit for the things that they've achieved. This is usually in the context of Lauper wanting to do something that she does for a living - something that's practically a bodily function for her. I understand the frustration of feeling that they're not getting a chance to shine, but when a team win is on the line, isn't it a good idea to squelch the ego just a bit? Peete's telling Lauper to let the "professionals" handle the singing deserves a spot in the Irony Hall of Fame. (If such a thing doesn't exist, I should create one.)
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