Jim: Where's the "please"? We're not animals.
Oscar: Go ahead, name a country that doesn't have two presidents.
Michael: What part of the human body does one use toilet paper upon? So you draw a line from there to the other planets...
Pam: Why doesn't Crate & Barrel let you register for a toaster full of cash?
David: Michael, are you texting me?
Michael: I don't see you any more. All I can see is how big and gross the pores on your nose are.
Creed: Hey, why haven't we ever, uh...
Meredith: We have.
Kevin: In the memo line, I'm gonna write "To love's eternal glory."
Michael: This had better be terrible.
Michael: They all have heart-ons for you.
Meredith: At least Jim was being direct when he was telling us his dumbass plan.
Dwight: They determine our worth by putting beans on our faces.
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